January 30, 2010

ready OR not ??

i gave my official notice a few days ago. i had previously discussed my future plans with the foundation, but i wanted to give them as much time as possible so that they could start looking for a replacement.

i've known and planned for a while now that my departure would be sometime in march. however, after deciding my end date, the realization hit me hard. i am leaving.

the past few weeks i had been getting excited for what is to come. what path i will take. what i will be doing next. the thought of seeing familiar faces, sleeping in my own bed, and enjoying random items that cannot be found here had me nearly doing somersaults. i was ready to be home...at least temporarily.

but then one day something changed. its as if i was looking through someone else's eyes. people, things, and scenery that i had grown so accustomed to had new meaning. i've always thought the ocean and sunset were beautiful, but now knowing soon these landscapes will no longer be in my view, i don't want to look away. seeing the kids faces light up as i arrive at school each day makes my heart flutter, yet i realize i have to say goodbye. soon.

i think one of the most significant instances happened when i was taking the bus home a couple of days ago. the bus had arrived early to town, so the driver parked near the stop to wait a few minutes before departing. i decided i might as well get on so i could grab a seat and listen to my ipod. i had no idea how blessed i would be by this decision. once i jumped on-board, i realized i was in the company of the driver AND his family. they were enjoying dinner together. on the bus. during his break. apparently he picked them up on his route through the nearby towns and this is how they were spending family time because he worked 12 hour days. watching them interact and enjoy one another's company had me in tears. what a special sight to see. i felt horrible imposing on their quality time, yet they were so welcoming and kind, telling me all about their family and life in mexico.

and its daily moments like these that have me continually wondering am i really ready OR not??

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