August 12, 2012

I Remember...

I haven’t done this in a long time. In fact I should be writing a paper. It’s due in 3 days and I haven’t made much progress. But today I must stop for a minute, take time to reflect on God's goodness, find words for the overflow of emotions I'm feeling today, and give glory that is due unto the Lord of all the universe.

Today is special. It’s one I will always remember. It’s bittersweet. It instantly brings tears to my eyes, yet makes me smile. August 12th is a day I will never, ever forget. You see on this very day last year God showed His faithfulness in a way I still cannot believe.

Much of the past year seems like a blurry haze, yet I can remember each and every moment of the days leading up to and following August 12th. The lonely weekends spent on planes - catching the red-eye home every Friday night and the early flight back to work each Monday morning. The countless hours spent in Surgery ICU. Holding onto my dad’s hand as if there was no tomorrow, because at the time I wasn’t sure there would be. Resting on the bench outside the hospital praying with dear friends and family over the phone. Sitting alone in the cafeteria trying to muster up enough strength to somehow swallow even a morsel of food. The repeated walks to the parking lot just to get a bit of fresh air. Humbled by the love and support from friends and family around the globe. Aimlessly roaming the hospital halls wondering what my future would hold. Crying a nonstop river of tears, wanting everything to go back to the way it used to be. Watching my sister handle each situation with such strength and confidence. Feeling so alone and terrified of what would happen, what it would mean, and what it would look like. Wondering where in the world God was in all of this.

And on that day, August 12, 2011, I can tell you what I was wearing, where I was sitting, and who I was with. I remember every single detail. I remember the doctor’s words and my response. I remember my heart beating so hard I was certain it would burst out of my chest, yet felt like I couldn't even take a breath. Most importantly, I remember God was there, He was near.

On this day last year during emergency surgery my dad stopped breathing. For one minute. Sixty seconds. The doctors didn't think he was going to make it. And if he did, they were confident he would never leave the hospital. But God saved him. He breathed new life back into his body. Not only did He save him, He healed my dad. Today, he is cancer free!

The Lord proved He can be trusted, that He keeps His promises. He demonstrated His love for my dad is much greater than I could ever imagine or offer. And because of this, August 12th is a day that has marked me for life (as did all of last year). How can I not rejoice in His goodness, His faithfulness, His incomprehensible love? So through tears of joy, I proclaim He is faithful, He is good, and He is ever so near. I remember.


"But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope...great is your faithfulness." {Lamentations 3}

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Shanna-
I am teary. This is really beautiful. God does keep his promises and He will always be faithful to you. Happy Life Celebration to you, your Dad, and family.
Traci