Speechless

EEEKK!!! I have been absolutely horrible about blogging lately. It definitely hasn't been for lack of things to write about. For some reason I have had a hard time putting into words all the thoughts swirling in my head. Here goes nothing...

First and foremost, my Savior continues to amaze me. I was blessed with unbelievable opportunities this summer. But it isn't necessarily the things of His hand that leaves me speechless. Rather, Him continuing to show me His unconditional love. Even when I am prideful, impatient and want my way. He still loves and actually wants to use a mess like me?!?

He forgives me when I seek my will rather than His face and gently leads me back to His path. My Good Shepherd has also shown me that when I choose my way instead of His, missing out on blessings and opportunities is not the real tragedy. It is the fact that I have chosen to let sin separate me from my sweet Heavenly Father.

The Lord has revealed to me many things that stir my affections for Him. Simple things like coffee and cupcakes to deeper things such as His Word and encountering people that truly seek and desire Him. He has also shown me things that rob me of my time and passion for Him like silly magazines and gossip.

I came across this Franciscan Benediction in Philip Yancey's book "Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference?" It summarizes my thoughts and recent experiences and all that I have been wrestling with.

May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
To turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children.